Dear Jim,

Please paint me Ross Kemp on Toast.

Cheers,

Toby Da Moose Phillips

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Paul Daniels, who is dressed in Debbie McGee’s stage clothing, morosely barbecuing a large solitary sausage and two brown balls whilst llamas in mariachi costumes serenade him. This is taking place on board the Star Ship Voyager, the replicator of which is malfunctioning and spewing out an unreasonable quantity of Flumps. Wizbit should also be present, attempting to hang himself but failing on account of his triangular shape. The sausage should bear a resemblance to David Dickinson.

Thanks,

Alan Ubis

Mariachi Llamas T-shirt available here

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Edward Scissorhands, Edward Rockhands and Edward Paperhands in line to get into a Flock Of Seagulls concert at the Whiskey A Gogo? Jason Voorhees and Traci Lords are waiting behind them, and Tony Clifton is the doorman wearing a tuxedo made out of Twizzlers.

Thanks,

Tracy Morse

Edward Paperhands T-shirt available here

Dear Jim

Please paint me Spider-Man on Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies who is on to talk about his abnormal habit of squirting web out of his wrist which he has just done on Ben Fogle’s face whilst a drunk Carol Vorderman watches.

Thanks,

Iain

Dear Jim,



Please paint me your interpretation of a fight between a “Daddy Long-Legs” and a “Daddy Strong-Legs”. The latter is an insect with muscular human like limbs who wears sunglasses and doesn’t take shit from nobody. The former is an insect with Dads for legs.



Cheers,

Tom

T-shirt available here

Dear Jim,

Please will you paint me a picture of Jonah Lomu in his all blacks kit punching Will.I.Am in the face from atop his magical, sparkly rhino which he likes to ride about rural Kent. The punch sends Mr. Am flying over a farmyard barn full of hay. The attack is witnessed by Terry Nutkins while he enjoys a Malteser sandwich dressed as the green Power Ranger without his helmet.

Thanks,

Paul Goddard

T-shirt available here

Canvas available here

Dear Jim,

I work in nightclub bookings and have recently received separate emails asking if I’d like to book Coolio, David Hasselhoff and “the smallest DJ in the world”. I’m debating putting them all on together on the same night so could you paint it for me so I can see if it’s a good idea or not?

Thanks,

Jim Rider

“Dear Jim,

Please paint me Alan Partridge and The Ultimate Warrior posing for a photo in Alan’s room at Linton Travel Tavern? At the right side of the room, The Proclaimers are hurtling down through the floor and out through the ceiling in a continuous loop through teleportation holes from the Portal games.

Cheers,

Steven Kirkwood”

Get the T-shirt here: http://jimllpaintit.bigcartel.com/product/ultimate-alan-tee