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Dear Jim,

Please paint me the final round of Salvador Dali’s surrealist version of Countdown. One of the contestants is Danny Dyer and the other is the ghost of some swiss cheese. Naturally the clock has melted and Danny’s head has exploded whilst attempting to solve a particularly surreal crucial conundrum.

Ta very much,


Luis Suárez having a pre-match nap

Had quite a few emails from people wanting to see Suárez indulging in some further form of vampirism - thanks to Steve Chapman, Conor O’Hare, Jamie Luke Robinson and whoever else suggested it.

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